Why Looking For a Job Can Feel Like Looking For a Date

Why looking for a job can feel like looking for a date. Digital platforms offering endless options have transformed both job hunting and dating. Platforms like LinkedIn, Indeed, and various dating apps allow users to connect with potential employers or romantic interests with a simple swipe or click.

However, this abundance of choice can lead to the paradox of choice, where the more options one has, the harder it becomes to decide. This overwhelming array of possibilities can make individuals second-guess their choices, wondering if there might be a better job or partner just a few more clicks away.

Looking for a job? The Idealisation Process.

When we apply for a job or swipe right on someone’s dating profile, we often engage in idealisation. We imagine the potential job role or partner and the life that comes with it. This idealisation can heighten expectations, leading to disappointment when reality doesn’t match the fantasy we’ve constructed. The job may not be as fulfilling, or the person may not be as compatible as we had hoped, leading to a continuous search for something that matches our idealised expectations.

Rejection and acceptance.

Rejection is a common thread in both job searching and dating. Despite our best efforts, we may not get the job offer or the second date, leaving us to question our worth or what we did wrong. This experience of rejection can be deeply personal, affecting our self-esteem and how we view ourselves in both professional and personal arenas. Conversely, the thrill of acceptance, whether a job offer or mutual interest from a potential partner, can be equally exhilarating, validating our efforts and boosting our confidence.

The presentation of self.

Crafting a resume and preparing for a job interview is not unlike creating a dating profile or going on a first date. Both scenarios require us to present ourselves in the best light possible, highlighting our strengths and accomplishments while minimising our flaws. This presentation of ourselves is a carefully curated process where we decide what to reveal and conceal, hoping to make an excellent first impression. The pressure to present an idealised version of ourselves can be daunting as we navigate the fine line between authenticity and the desire to be perceived favourably.

Search for compatibility.

I’m looking for a job. At their core, both job searching and dating are about finding a good match. In the job market, this means finding a role that aligns with our skills, values, and career goals. In dating, it’s about finding someone with whom we share a mutual attraction, interests, and life goals. The search for compatibility, whether in a job or a romantic partner, involves a complex interplay of factors, making the process both challenging and rewarding.


The emotional rollercoaster of job hunting and dating reflects our deep-seated desire for connection and fulfilment in every aspect of our lives. While fraught with challenges, these journeys also offer opportunities for growth, self-discovery, and the joy of finding what we’re searching for. By recognising the parallels between these two aspects of our lives, we can approach them with greater empathy, resilience, and a better understanding of the complexities of human relationships and aspirations.

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